It Was Like A Bad Dream.

Oh Consistency...

So my extreme laziness occasionally trumps my love of rambling...but I'm here.

So Halloween came and went. Me and THE BF were so pumped. Like, we bought costumes and everything (we are basically attached at the hip...can't help it, he's just so fun to be around most of the time) from a store with a NO REFUND policy.  Then the mother-freaking snow storm hit. And when I say storm, I mean STORM. There was definitely an accumulation of at least 6 inches. But anyway, we (along with my cousin) had planned on bar hopping in costume, but by the time I left my job I was NOT feeling the idea and neither was my cousin. So we decided to stay in (and stay warm) and watch some scary movies and get a little twisted...in costume of course (I, Miss Krueger. He, a Lady Bug. Yes. Imagine a fit, buff guy in a tutu dress with antennas, wings, and red knee high tights. RIGHT. Adorable and funny though).  Those are my favorite kind of nights anyway. I like staying in and cuddling up with a good movie and some alcohol (oh yes, there must be alcohol to keep you warm and fuzzy).

So that was that, but please believe that I will be wearing that $55 costume AGAIN next year...

Anywho.

I have been SLACKING something serious on watching my weekly sitcoms. I was looking forward to a few new and returning shows but I have not been as faithful to them as I should.

First, I kind of gave up on Reed Between The Lines on BET. I admire that they are portraying positive images of the black family, I really do. And goodness knows that I love a warm Cosby-esque feel, but this show is just NOT DOING IT FOR ME. Tracy Ellis Ross is gorgeous and funny (I guess?). Malcolm Jamal Warner is...Malcolm Jamal Warner (good actor and good looking with a warm quality to him). And those kids? A little annoying (the preteens) but adorable (the youngest daughter). In general, this show serves its purpose. I happened to catch tonight's episodes. Not bad. Not great. Meh. I've been opting to watch Hardcore Pawn on TruTV instead (also airs Tuesday nights at 10pm). The ratchetness that walks into that pawnshop is...sad and hilarious at the same time. Plus, the father (Les) is undeniably a great businessman and his family is fun to watch.

Next, How I Met Your Mother.  Oh, Jason Segel how I have failed thee. Now, I love me some Jason Segel (and Neil Patrick Harris), but I have been skipping out on HIMYM.  I think I may have missed the last two episodes. This could be due to the fact that I missed all of last season (but I plan on buying Season 6 on DVD...more like putting it on my XMas list for SOMEONE ELSE to get me...but either way I plan on getting it) and I am a bit lost. I know Lily is pregnant, Barney has a girlfriend, and Robin is dating her anger management therapist (who happens to be played by the guy who plays Kumar)...but besides that, I am out in space. I can't help it. I am distracted by the tomfoolery that is Basketball Wives LA which airs Monday nights at 8pm as well (dumb and sad as hell but you just CANNOT look away).

Bottom Line: I promise I will do better, Jason. And I will go see your Muppet Movie. Promise.

NOW. Here is what I DO watch regularly...

American Horror Story. Ok, I usually hate gore and I hate horror but I like this show. There is something about it that just makes me want to watch it every week. At the end of each episode (just when I start to think I am understanding what the hell is going on) there is a crazy cliffhanger and I know I need to tune in the following week. Like...you had sex with a man in a FULL LEATHER BODYSUIT (who never spoke but you thought it was your husband) and got pregnant, you let random ass people up in your home (never background checking them), your house is on a MURDER TOUR, three people tried to kill you and your daughter to reenact a murder that took place in your house...liiiiiiiiike, what the funky f%@?  And you are STILL THERE. why?  

I will be watching tonight after I get out of work.

Misadventure of Awkward Black Girl. This is a web series created by Issa Rae about (dun dun dun!) a black girl who finds herself in some really uncomfortable and awkward ass situations. I just love this show because I've been there. I'm THERE like almost everyday.  Like in the first episode there is a scene where the main character (Jay) is in her car blasting a loud ass ignorant ass rap song (Booty Shawts, I think). That is SO ME in my car blasting some Waka Flocka (look ma, NO HANDS) or Three Six Mafia. Also, she's really witty and smart but she works at a wack ass job with a pain in the ass supervisor. Ugh, I can't even explain anymore. It's just sooooooo good. I came upon the show randomly over the summer. Issa Rae is such a talent. I love it.

Hmmm....goodness, I have so much a I could go on and on about. But I shall rest now. Until next time. I bid you Adieu.

Where are my manners?

How did I start this blog and not introduce myself? I just jumped into my issues (that's so me!).  Well my name is Vanessa and I'm currently 24 years old. I'll be twenty five in 3 months, whoop whoop! Ha ha. Actually I'm not not THAT excited. I'll be twenty five and still haven't started or found a career =( Is that bad? Anyway...

I'm a native New Yorker (and not UPSTATE NY either). I'm silly as hell. I love all things Tina Fey (I'm watching a 30 Rock marathon as I type!) and Jason Segel (I am like in love with him). I have been in a relationship for 4 years and my boyfriend is my best friend (literally...he's the best and he puts up with all of my shit. I'm ridiculously temperamental.) I looooooove Harry Potter and crosswords and Sudoku. I watch so much TV that it is ridiculous and I prefer older TV shows (Wayans Bros., Martin, Cosby Show, The Parkers, My Wife and Kids...black sitcoms much? teehee.)

Ummm..what else?

I love liquid eyeliner.  I really wear it just about everyday and it must be thick and extended past my eye lids. VERY DRAMATIC-LIKE.  I love high heels but never wear them. I am so NOT glamorous and am not a glamor (sp?) girl.

I like telling dirty jokes and talking about immature/inappropriate things.  But sometimes I am VERY classy and lady-like, I promise. I guess I'm the person that I need to be when I need to be her. But I prefer being silly =)

Hmmm...

Oh yea, my favorite songs are about booty shaking and booty clapping and ignorant shit. But I can't help it, they are SO DAMN catchy! I love 'em! Needless to say I love to dance and go out to bars and lounges and stuff. I don't like socializing, but I like being out. Being stuck in the house drives me nuts (yet I'm always there).

I live at home with my parents. In the basement. With my boyfriend. It's weird. Unconventional. and UNUSUAL. I know. I hate telling people because I know how weird it sounds...and how weird IT IS. I wasn't thinking when we came up with this living situation. If I could go back in time I would do it differently (at least I'm honest).

I'll make this short (HA!)...

I have a B.A. in Speech Pathology with a minor in English, but I'm thinking about getting a Master's to be a Physician's Assistant (they basically do what MD's do but can't write prescriptions). But I really want to write for TV (I think I could write some kick-ass TV shows) and/or be a plus size model because I want people to dress me up and do my make up and make me prettyful. I don't want to be famous, I just want to do something different. And I want to make an impact and help people (how cliche). I just can't have a conventional job or life. It's just not for me. I have the attention span of a goldfish (well not really but you get it...).

Let me stop now because I really can go on FOREVER.

MsKnowItAll

(P.S. I don't ... that's the irony ... get it?)

The Weight Issue

So, I went costume shopping with my boyfriend a few days ago.  When we entered the store I headed straight to the plus size section because (though I am not obese I am most definitely overweight) I really thought that the Large sized costume would be too small.  So I try on the Extra Large Miss Krueger costume. (The costume is just so cute! I love the way the dress and the hat look together and I know it'd be super sexy with some fishnet stockings and knee high boots!)  I come out of the dressing room and look into the mirror.  The dress is not flattering at all.  It goes down to like my knees and is really baggy...and I still had on my jeans and shirt underneath. The salesgirls looks at me and gives a small chuckle.  She says "You know you went to the plus size section right? Let me get you the Large." Now, I am not a small girl. I have broad shoulders, no hips (tragic!), and a belly.  If I was actually athletic I'd have that athletic boyish frame that some girls have.  I think I look like I should be shopping in the plus size section (my boyfriend always disagrees when I say this).  I just didn't want to have to go a size up so I just started at a larger size. Why all of this psychology to try on a costume?

I can't lie, having to buy a smaller size made me feel good (and the large did look and fit much better).  But I also felt guilty for being happy that I didn't have to buy a plus size costume.  Am I wrong?

I've struggled, like many others, with my weight for most of my life.  I really began gaining between 4th and 5th grade.  I had always been a bit chubby but by the time I was 10 or 11 I had really ballooned.  I played no sports throughout elementary school and most of high school, and when I expressed interest in playing my mother always told me that she didn't want me to so I couldn't.  In 10th or 11th grade I tried out for the softball team.  After two weeks I was cut.  But in those two weeks I lost ten pounds.  I wasn't really upset about getting cut.  I was more upset because I wanted to lose more weight.  By the time I graduated high school I was definitely over 190lbs.

I attended college in another state. I had no car and my only means of transportation were my legs, the bus, and the train.  My campus was a town in itself and if the buses ran at an inconvenient time I was walking to class.  I was subconsciously choosing healthier meals in the dining halls and my funds were limited so I rarely ordered fast food or takeout.  Unsurprisingly, after two years in school I had unknowingly lost 30lbs.  I couldn't see it but everyone else could. My junior year of college began September of 2007 and I started using the gym to tone up my body.  My conditioning was pretty good from walking everywhere so I would run 30 minutes non stop and then spend between 20-30 minutes in the weight room. I was looking and feeling pretty damn good!

What the hell happened???!

It is now 2011 and I have gained back every single pound that I lost. I don't go to the gym nearly as much as I should and my diet, at times, is pretty atrocious.  There are times when I eat very very healthy. But then there are times when I eat takeout everyday.

Now I know that people are beautiful no matter what the size.  And the recent fat bias in America is pretty disgusting.  There is a new form of prejudice against obese and overweight people (ESPECIALLY women) that is sickening.  But I still want to lose weight.  It doesn't FEEL good to be kind of sloppy and inactive.

So how do I drop the pounds without feeling like a "sell out"?